During our formative years, I stumbled upon a valuable piece of advice in Dale Carnegie’s book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” It illuminated the art of being diplomatic when delivering criticism to win cooperation. However, the art of accepting criticism gracefully is equally essential.
Not everyone chooses the “honey” route when providing negative feedback, but criticism is an indispensable facet of self-discovery and growth. Those who offer criticism, even when it’s tough to hear, might be doing us a great favour. When someone criticises your work, you can react in several ways:
• Feeling that all your efforts were in vain.
• Believing that the person simply doesn’t like you. • Searching for external factors to explain the criticism. • Wanting to understand why.
Abraham Lincoln once said, “A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” This principle applies to people too. If you aim to win someone over, it’s crucial to first establish yourself as
their sincere friend. This tiny drop of honey can capture their heart, and ultimately, their reason.
Criticism has the power to impact your self-esteem, your decisions, and the quality of your personal and professional relationships. When you react excessively to criticism, it can set a negative precedent for your ability to learn and grow from adverse experiences—something that is an integral part of any journey toward excellence and healthy relationships.
In this article, we will explore what criticism is, examine famous examples of handling criticism, and consider how to respond to criticism in a responsible and effective manner.
What is Criticism?
Criticism, as defined by Dictionary.com, is the act of passing judgment on the merits of something. Historically, it referred to the evaluation of literary worth.
Famous Examples of Handling Criticism:
Numerous notable individuals faced criticism and emerged stronger:
• Oprah Winfrey, in her early days as an evening news reporter, was criticised for her inability to separate her emotions from her stories.
• J.K. Rowling received criticism while working at Amnesty International for writing stories on her work computer all day long.
• Walt Disney was told by his editor at the Kansas City Star in 1919 that he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” • After an early screen test in 1933, Fred Astaire received a note that read: “Can’t sing. Can’t act. Balding. Can dance a little.” He framed it and displayed it above his fireplace.
These criticisms could have deterred these individuals, but they didn’t give up. They used criticism as a stepping stone to learn and grow.
How to Handle Criticism
Our response to criticism is influenced by two parts of our brain: the amygdala and the medial prefrontal cortex. The amygdala helps form emotional memories and plays a role in our fight-or-flight response, which is why criticism can often feel threatening. Here’s how to handle criticism effectively:
• Actively Listen: Listening attentively fosters respect and trust. It enhances understanding, strengthens relationships, and minimises potential issues.
• Manage Your Fight or Flight Reaction: Avoid going into survival mode each time you receive criticism. Overreacting can hinder rational decision-making. Fred Astaire, for instance, learned to be resilient to negative feedback and kept honing his craft.
• Avoid Personalising Criticism: Criticism is merely an observation, not a personal attack. Oprah and Disney used feedback to discover their strengths and challenge their ideas. Criticism can help you find gaps and opportunities for growth.
• Learn from Criticism: Instead of internalising self-doubt and blame, focus on what you can learn from criticism. It can shape your skills and your impact in your field. Invite others to share their expectations, and use this feedback constructively.
In conclusion, criticism is an essential part of growth and self improvement. By handling criticism gracefully, you can turn it into a powerful tool for personal and professional development.